August 2011 Will and I found out we were going to be expecting another baby. You would think that this would be tremendously thrilling news, especially for a couple like us, but we were terrified. 1) Because I had already lost Angelo 2) Because we needed my paychecks 3) Because Will was in a very dark and distant place emotionally. In fact number three was so bad we had discussed going against our own personal beliefs and using birth control, only because we feared it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into that situation.
I set up appointments and told no one about the pregnancy for fear of loss. I insisted on having my heart checked this time around to prevent another loss. That meant seeing a High Risk OB. I was cleared but kept under care if HROB.
No one knew about my pregnancy until week 8 when I was at work and was so sick and weak I had to tell my poor worried coworker. A short time later I had a resident elbow me very hard while trying to escape the Memory Care Unit. That trauma sent me to the ER. Eventually I ended up needing to quit my job, because as soon as they found out I was pregnant the crazy demands they put on me and the refusal to deal appropriately with resident medical attention and caretaker training just put me in a dangerous place.
Once I hit my second trimester we happily told the family and friends! Thank goodness too because I was beginning to show. Preparations for our LO were no longer covert Saturday yard sales. I already knew how I wanted to raise this baby and what I needed so as I began to prepare and get excited, it was nice to have family along the way to chat with. Our parents at times drove us nuts, but we love them.
Third trimester came and things were in full swing. Baby shower planned by my Visiting Teacher, room decor, clothes, furniture, toys, cloth diapers, carriers, research and hiding almost all of it from Will because the hospital went against our wishes and blabbed gender to me!! (Jerks, stole my surprise! At first I thought I was upset it was a boy in there, till I realized I just missed the surprise.)
While I became more and more prepared and less and less fearful, Will withdrew to his man cave for reflection more and more. I was so unbelievably lonely. Thus craft days began. I had lots to do before baby arrived so I got some Sisters from the ward together and we began craft days. Which really amounted to alot of talking and a little crafting. Really, either way it was good for the soul.
Will began to get excited but refused to read the books on how I do L&D thus frustrating me to whits end! Until I realized it was a memory issue and I typed him up a cheat sheet and emailed it to him just in case.
Cheat Sheet & Pregnancy Survey to be posted separately
See "Thomas is here!" For continued story.
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