I was in a large cafeteria eating lunch with many of my old classmates.
There were the standard groups... All girls table, the all boy table, and the table where people dared to mix ... I was always one of the daring mixers though I never had a boyfriend in school so that made me weird.
As everyone finished their food, one of the boys offered food to a teacher. She chided him asking if he had thought to share with one of the girls. He turned with a somewhat dumbfounded look and began to share with a girl near where he was standing. Then many of the girls began to eat seconds.
One boy across the table from me was just pushing food from his tray to the girl next to him without a thought, and the food never seemed to end. He just talked and talked while she spoke of how hungry she was and ate indulgently.
One girl was appalled that any woman should eat more than a small helping. I made a joke about how we were throwing all the rules out the window. She didn't like it and continued to complain.
All the while I sat and watched these other women feed themselves, get fed by men and none were satisfied.
I sat... hungry, and like a small handful of others... afraid to eat more.
I think often in womanhood we feel this way. Hungry... hungry for real food. No, I'm not talking about how as a breastfeeding mom I am ALWAYS hungry. I'm talking about how food is a basic need, and so is self-care. Yet so many of us once we become mothers go with the bare minimum and think it is wonderful until we see the other women.
The other women who do take better care of themselves. Or better yet the woman who's husband or boyfriend just showers her with pampering and she is still hungry for more.
As a mom, I love my kids and make sure they get their basic needs met and do my best to do so for the house too.
But how often am I only eating a small portion of what my body tells me I need, and just sitting wondering if I should eat a little more.
Heaven knows as soon as you think about taking better care of yourself someone will stand up and start talking about how appalling it is that anyone would even think of it!!
Young mothers are supposed to have greasy hair, miss showers and be cranky from taking care of everyone else and not herself right?
Actually... The principle of "put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others" is a true one. We do have to take care of ourselves in order to be able to better care for others. Even, and especially our family!
So what do I do, and how do I do it?
PRIORITIZE
I wake every morning, before everyone else so I can get my basic needs met. Am I perfect at it? No. There are definitely times I stay in bed and snuggle.
But on the mornings when I get up, study my devotional, and do yoga before the family wakes up I am a better mom! I am a better wife! My Hunksband notices and comments on how he likes the way the days go!
Some mornings your basic needs might be to just get up and get the dishes knocked out so they don't bother you all day.
We aren't talking mass amounts of pampering here. We aren't talking about eating mounds and mounds of dessert. I'm talking filling your NEEDS.
If it bothers you to go around with greasy hair. Don't be afraid to budget it in and go to the stylist to find the perfect cut and style for you to take care of and feel good. This is what BALANCE is!
It isn't sickening. It isn't appalling. It is a lifeline to you as a woman. A line we all need a little of.
So go ahead, if you are hungry eat a little more real food.
And please... Stop judging other women who do. You never know what a person is feeling on the inside.
So if a friend drops the kids off with a sitter, and gets her hair done, goes to the gym, takes a nap, goes to a bible study, watches a movie, goes grocery shopping alone. Especially during a deployment... Cut her some slack, and maybe see if she will kid trade with you so you can eat too.
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