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My Vision for Life

   When I, Julia, began this journey of being a wife and mother I had an idea of what I wanted that to look like, I figured my Mom is ...

Will's Bradley Cheat Sheet





1st - There are 3 phases to Labor and 3 phases to Delivery, these
phases can be easily recognized by looking for emotional cues.

Emotional Phases:
                        1- Happy, carefree
                        2- Serious and ready to work
                        3- Doubt/Fear


During Labor the first phase can happen anytime and dependent upon
time of day I may let you know that the contractions are occurring and
how often but I will likely be moving around, eating, working etc. if
its waking hours. We can do anything during this time without having
to worry at all. We could go out to eat, enjoy fun conversations etc.
just enjoy the happy time, and get excited with me if at all possible.
(If you happen to be at work toward the end of this phase I will call
you and tell you what is going on to allow you time to deal with work
business and get home in time.)

During Labor phase two the contractions become stronger and closer
together, I will become very serious and need to assume a resting
position during this time. I know the positions and will show you at
least once in practice before hand so there are no surprises and you
know what to look for to help me. Basically, the point is for me to be
completely relaxed during contractions, I will look as though I am
asleep to anyone unaware of what is going on or unfamiliar with the
method. However, I need to stay focused on what is going on and very
much alert. During this time your job is to help me be completely
relaxed, you can sing, talk lovingly and gently to me, touch me (but
only in consistent and loving ways, anything else will annoy me and
you will get snapped at. In the books they talk about constant steady
strong massage, this for obvious reasons does not work for us.) I will
need to be breathing deeply and in the abdomen, all non relaxed
activity needs to be in the abdomen!! So if you see me not relaxing my
jaw or arm or anything you need to simply and sweetly remind me to do
so. I should be so relaxed that I could be floating on top of water.
Between contractions we can talk, joke, play card games whatever, so
long as I am relaxed and you are helping me to do so during
contractions. Between contractions I may also need to use the
restroom, or get to the car etc. (I will need to lean on you if a
contraction should happen and again I will show you how best that will
work beforehand) Towards the end of this phase the contractions will
get closer and closer together and we will reach the point where
simply based on contraction times we will head to the hospital. (5mins
apart)- if we aren't there already--

During Labor phase three the contractions may feel as though they are
all right on top of each other, fear and or doubt will set in for me
and I will need you to remind me that everything will be okay and that
this phase is the fastest, that it means its almost time to push, and
that means almost time to see the baby. Because of my anxiety
disorders I may throw up or get sick in other ways during this phase,
but if I am able to stay relaxed enough no big deal at all, it will
just come and go and we will be able to start delivery. DO NOT freak
out with me!!! Stay calm and reassuring!! DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT, allow
anyone to talk me into using drugs of any kind during this phase of
labor or delivery!!!! Drugs cause more pain not reduction of pain
during natural childbirth, and they interfere with the baby's
alertness level and desire to nurse etc.

During delivery the same emotional phases will occur though there
really wouldn't be need to do anything different for each phase, they
will simply tell you how close to done we are. During Delivery there
are several different positions again that I will use, most of these
positions involve some form of squatting. The best but hardest to
sustain in full squat (picture someone squatting in the woods to poop
and you got the right position.) While it is the best position if
delivery takes 4hours you can bet I wouldn't be able to squat the
whole time. The second is the partial squat, where I will sit at an
angle like I do with the pillows at night time in bed, but I will have
my knees up by my shoulders and may even ask you to help me hold them
back during pushing to allow for everything to be more comfortable.
The third is the least favorable but especially if my hip is in pain
will come in handy and it is with me on all fours, it is least
favorable because it requires someone to catch the baby, I wouldn't be
able to see the baby until handed the baby.

Breathing during Delivery is important as well to avoid unnecessary
work and/or pain. The first two breaths are deep all the way in and
all the way out breaths, this relaxes the body and gives it clean
fresh air to work with, also allowing more oxygen to the blood stream.
The third breath is held as long as possible and will be done at the
same time as pushing. (Don't let me cheat and breath out my nose here
it will be a backwards step). After that breath cannot be held any
longer I will need to look up and blow it out, lengthen my neck and do
the same thing with breath number four as I did with number 3.  Then
rest until its time to push again and repeat. Do not let anyone tell
me to push!!! The urge to push will be instinctive and will feel good
to push rather than restrain, someone telling me to "push, push" will
tick me off and once more be a backward step. That said if the Doctor
makes comments like okay almost time to push, and then says okay push,
to cue me that might be okay, but if I get annoyed just remind them
that I do know from instinctual when to push and don't need to be told
every time.

Once the baby is out they should come straight to my chest to try and
nurse, even before cleaning. Unless there is some medical reason and
the baby isn't doing well just remind the staff that is what we want.
The cord will not need to be tugged on or cut immediately and in fact
it should wait until the cord is completely empty and no longer
pulsing to be cut, if you wish to cut it that's totally up to you.

Once the final stage of Labor and Delivery has begun the staff can
clean the baby up and do their job, however I would appreciate it if
you would go with them whenever possible so that our baby is never out
of our sight during the hospital stay. This will prevent crazy little
things that can be routine in the hospital from making our lives
harder in the days and weeks to come. So while I finish up in delivery
you can keep an eye out.

Once everything is done and over with and our family is united in
again and in a room for observation, I will need to replenish my
sugars and so will you, orange juice does best for this so I am going
to try to make sure we have some frozen to grab on the way out the
door (it will thaw while we are busy) if not we may need you to run to
a vending machine or something, but I'm going to try to be sure that
snacks and such are packed in the bag to avoid that. After we are
replenished etc. we can begin to call family members and friends on
the short list. I then plan to rest if at all possible and you should
too :)

Outside the general idea know how above here are the ...

MOST IMPORTANT POINTS FOR YOU TO KNOW:

No medications of any kind are to be given unless there is legitimate
medical NEED.
        If for some reason they need to speed things up or induce
labor with false hormones, then an epidural is preferred.
                 Any use of false hormones to speed or induce should
only be agreed to however if there is legitimate concern for the
baby's welfare! Not because things are taking to long or some silly
excuse like that.
        If as C-section is to be preformed it needs to be on an
emergency basis only!!!
                 Should this happen we will try to stick to the after
delivery plan as closely as possible while still allowing hospital
staff to do their job.
       Even for an episiotomy if they should reach for a local to
medicate just remind them that if there is enough pressure we would
prefer for them not to use any medications.
                 After delivery when being stitched up if need be
however there will need to be a local used!!

Keep me relaxed and focused, this means if doctors have questions or
there are distractions you will need to be the one to deal with them.
Likewise with any discomforts I may have like thirst, too hot or cold,
etc. (Should I need to go to the bathroom during labor its allowed but
I may need to lean on you if I have a contraction at any time during
walking anywhere)

No restrictive devices or unnecessary testing is to be used, simply
put if I can't move and do my own thing I will get very frustrated and
it will be bad.
      I already know that I will be required to wear observation belts
to monitor the baby (I'm not a fan but it is hospital policy)
      As for an IV, they will likely ask to place one when we come in
just in case of emergency, It is okay but try to remind them to place
it in an area where it doesn't restrict my movement.

Essentially the Key is NATURAL NATURAL NATURAL NATURAL and relaxed!!

      Giving birth doesn't have to be painful, a huge medical
procedure, or this giant ordeal! It's natural, its instinctive.
Likewise with parenting. The hospital is the best place to have a baby
because emergencies happen, but the same could be said about a
swimming pool. The Doctor is the Life guard, if all goes well and
according to plan we simply do our thing and get out, and they get
paid. (Just as the lifeguard would get the finger if they told you not
to swim so slow the doctor should receive similar response for trying
to jump in when there is no emergency.)

      After the baby is here and in our arms the hospital staff may
still need reminding that our child should be treated naturally. No
pacifiers or "soothies" should be used, because they interrupt the
baby's instinct to nurse. I will bring cloth diapers to use for the
baby, this will cut down on harsh chemicals that can cause harmful
reactions in the skin, especially if there are lacerations. While
procedures and testing are done for the baby there are certain ways
that the staff will hold the baby that are completely unnatural but
proper, however if they do not transport the baby in a natural an
affectionate way please remind them to hold the baby close, or better
yet let us transport the baby from on place to another.

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