My Children's Fine China

   For centuries mothers passed down their finest china and silver to their children, usually her daughter. This custom of family heirlooms passed on that is rarely if ever been questioned. People simply want their kids to have the very best. After all, it is a parents job to provide for their children, and that desire to provide to the best of your ability never fades away. From the Father who spends all his spare time building the coolest tree house in town, to the parent who pulls double shifts and works multiple jobs just to put food on the table, to the ritzy families who participate in country clubs and coming of age parties, no one ever has doubt that these parents simply are doing their best to provide. So why when a child is born and on into toddler years do we as a western society question the simple act of breastfeeding?  We just want what is best for our children however all too often our children miss out on the benefits because; few woman have loving supporters, Many woman choose privacy that give false impressions to the uneducated public eye, and Society has made the woman's breast a sexual topic, making public feedings a nightmare.

   In the art of "catching babies" there is a long standing practice of placing the newborn babe on their mother's chest and allowing the child to suckle for the first time. This allows for contractions to naturally be triggered to continue the birthing process, gives time for the baby to receive the remainder of their cord blood, and most importantly gives an immediate release of connecting hormones to both mother and baby so that life starts out with safe and secure attachments. In the days of our primal ancestors could you imagine what would occur if a mother had no hormonal instincts to protect her young? Yikes! Or oppositely if a child did not feel secure in his mother's ability to provide. These natural instincts are still needed today and exist for  a reason, to deny them is simply foolish, in my own opinion

   When birthing in a hospital one of the first questions you will be asked is if you will be breast or bottle feeding, your child will likely be on your chest for only a brief moment, and the first feeding probably wouldn't be allowed for an hour or more! Mother's today are rarely educated on the benefits of various types of baby feeding, pediatricians try to put our children on a chart and require different types of food to be introduced on their schedule rather than the child's, and the "healthcare" industry makes money off the use of samples given out in hospitals. Also the  medications that are required to replace the immunities our children lose out on, by ending breastfeeding too soon. Even the certified lactation consultants can seriously damage a mother's ability to view feedings with love and respect. While they push themselves into a mother and child's space and often force the breast into a child's mouth, squeeze the mother's breast so firmly as to cause pain and distress, pull a child off the breast far too soon to accommodate their own schedules, and often make "new" mother's feel inadequate in their natural ability to provide all their baby needs at this delicate time of life. Of course that is not every pediatrician, lactation consultant or birthing providers way but it is the norm in our western civilization. 

   Likewise fathers are often even less educated, a fathers view of feedings comes only from what they know to be safe, normal, or acceptable. If a woman's parents aren't supportive of breastfeeding either due to old fashioned ideas about how "only poor woman breastfeed" or "formula is better for the baby nutritionally because the tv said so" (in 1940), or "breastfeeding is nasty" etc. etc. the list goes on and on from "those breasts belong to ___"  (me and only me, or possibly my husband) to "Well I formula fed and all my kids turned out fine!" a breastfeeding mother today, sadly starts out behind in the race. Support groups especially like those of the La Leche League are fantastic! But lets face it, most of us will fail if loving supporters aren't by our side, and strangers rarely make the cut.

   Since most of society is uneducated on the matter and we as a civilization are typically on the go, even for meal time, it tends to escape ones mind that feeding time is most enjoyed in a peaceful, quiet, safe environment where we can relax.  That is a natural way of being and thus is no different for our children. Breastfeeding mother's often escape the busy environments we live in to feed their children because our babies eat better, and are able to enjoy meal time with love and respect more comfortably in less animated spaces. True many woman also feel uncomfortable exposing any part of themselves to anyone outside their immediate trusted company, and that is their own right. I say more power to anyone who takes control of their own body in any situation. But don't be fooled. Any breastfeeding mother would rather be exposed than  let their baby starve. We don't typically excuse ourselves from company to feed for our benefit, nor for the benefit of those around us, but for the benefit of our beloved children. No infant ever even thought "Don't worry I'll wait to be hungry until everyone else is comfortable." their stomachs are small and their bodies are efficient so they need to eat more often, and when they know they are hungry, they will let you know about it. Simply banishing mother and baby to a far off place to do "that" isn't the way things have to be. After all the baby doesn't send you to the bathroom, or bedroom to eat, and eating under a blanket is a bit impractical  in most situations for many of us. 

  Finally, I must pose the big question on my mind. What is the big deal about breasts? Well the answer is that in our society we are taught that they are "naughty bits" and "private parts" and while that is true for the sake of dressing appropriately, it has been continued on so that breasts are viewed as a sexual part of ourselves.  Men grow up stashing playboys under the mattress all too often. Sure everyone has their own likes when it comes to sex. Your likes could be feet, elbows, hair, breasts or what have you. But lets face it, looking at pictures of women's breasts in a catalog is essentially checking out china in a catalog. Did I lose you with that one? Let's back up a tad. If I you were to see a baby being bottle fed in the mall, you wouldn't eye their bottle suspiciously. Similarly if you saw a toddler eating at a picnic table with the family on a national holiday, you wouldn't criticize their plastic wear as being unsightly. So why then would you look at a breastfeeding mother, knowing that she is only trying to give her baby the best she has to offer and jump to judgement? I don't judge any mother for feeding her baby in any way. I certainly have my way of doing things. The way I see it is simply this; I wouldn't judge you and in return please don't judge me. We are all just doing our best for our kids. So if your best is a bottle go for it. The way I see it I am just following tradition and passing down my best fine dining to my babies. 

  In the end we are all just humans. We all have our own ways, and traditions, likes and dislikes. I just hope that after reading this someone has a clearer view of why certain mothers breastfeed their babies. In public, in private, wherever our children have needs, for food or otherwise, we all just strive to give our children the best. So the next time a child is hungry and a mother feeds them, from any apparatus, in any physical location, I hope you view it with the question in mind, Is that the find china? And when it is for that particular mother, I hope you praise them.