I love my husband with all my heart, it's just some days are really tough! This trial of stroke symptoms is crazy and makes my head spin quite often. Though I knew when I flew to Killeen to care for Will and agreed to marry him that life could be this hard or harder for eternity, I didn't realize the toll that it might take on my heart some days. This is a poem I am writing to describe how I feel, please don't take it as a way of me saying I don't absolutely love Will, because I do, and that is my point! I love my husband with all my heart and that's why I married him, it is the reason I married him so soon that causes me stress and heartache.
The Man I Almost Got to Marry
Back when I was single,
I prayed a prayer or two.
To ask my Heavenly Father,
Just what kind of man I should choose.
I studied hard and kept my eyes peeled,
for signs and traits that would do.
There was love of music, love of God,
And love of country too.
There was good communication,
There was faith beyond compare,
Strength to overcome trials,
And a love of children that couldn't compare.
A love of silly things like Chevy trucks and food.
A desire to serve a mission, and temple service too.
The ability to make me laugh, a way to calm my tears,
Respect, and love, and friendship and more, so so so
So much more to last beyond just years!
One day I met this man, and we reconnected fast!
He had all these traits and so many more,
That I wouldn't have ever thought to ask
I got off the phone that very first night,
And directly folded down, to pray to Heavenly Father,
And thank Him for creating such a man!
We talked and sang and laughed for days and months.
We began to plan wedding day,
To celebrate Eternity together....
Plans were easy, and flowed like rain.
And this man I love came into my heart and filled it!
I still thank Heavenly Father,
Each and everyday for creating that man!
One morning I didn't get a text, good day.
There was no call, and no reply to text.
I called on my way to work,
But found my love was not himself.
Words were jumbled puzzles,
He would not talk to me,
I told him to call the hospital,
And to that he said he'd pray.
I called his Mom and told her my fears.
She called him and many others.
Family supported as the day went on,
I worked but my heart was troubled.
Prayers flew from many routes,
Heavenly Father answered.
The calls I got from my love,
For the next few days were troubled.
He cried, he was confused,
He said all he wanted was me.
Family helped and I left my job,
I came to be here for him!
We married and I care for him now.
Some days I just want to cry,
To morn the man I lost.
That man who I know existed,
And still does, somewhere deep inside.
The one who lost it all,
But is grateful to still have me at his side.
He still stands for all he knows is good,
He fights for himself, and for us,
Day after day, and into the night.
It kills me to see him fighting so hard.
To see the man I love so much,
Forced to try and try.
I do all I can, and to him that's enough,
But to the world, its never even close.
And no one else may ever know,
What it means,
To wake up with the man I love,
To watch him struggle in silence,
To fall asleep next to a stranger,
And to do it all over each day,
All because,
I love the man I almost got to marry,
Through thick, and thin, and Eternity.
~ J.D. Cowell
Dedicated to my Hunksband, My Soldier, My Love
original post: Life as Will's Wife 7/4/11
No comments:
Post a Comment